Dear Brits

First, I need you to take a look at this Buzzfeed post!

Now, here is my response to each item!

Here we go…

1)It’s more efficient and we don’t want to confuse the Spanish speakers who might read it as “trave’y’ing”.

2) “September Eleventh” as opposed to “The Eleventh of September”… again, more efficient!

3)Some pants are trousers, some a slacks… they are all pants… and british “pants” are underwear, or boxers, or briefs or boxer briefs or (in parts of the South) drawers (pronounced “draws”… get mad about THAT!)

4)Again, more efficient and more accurately represents how the word is pronounced!

5) really!? why?

6) we can get stuff for 99 cents… (plus tax)

7)I hate the way everybody who isn’t German pronounces German words!

8) Gen-You-Win, Root (we could take out the “o” to make it more accurate and more efficient), H-erb (sound out the “H”) what’s to hate about that?

9) Sick!? that’s the word you chose!? I’m going to be sick all over the back seat of your car! Still American!

10) (From a friend of a friend on Facebook) — Fall is actually the older word… that was used by Brits before they swapped to autumn.

11)If someone says “y’all” after every word… they’re faking a Southern accent… and we hate that,  just like y’all hate it when someone tries to do a British accent… speaking of which.

12) That’s fair… but what about when they succeed at doing a British accent!?

13) We don’t all say “howdy”, drink shitty beer and eat giant hamburgers… screw you too!

14) No, you just watch our shows… also  (liar, liar, trousers on fire)

15) I hate Brits, why do they call cookies biscuits. and who ever heard of muffins and gravy!?

16) I’ve never sat on the bonnet (hood)… I have, however, sat on many tailgates…y’all!

17) First, I know you’re not all posh and don’t all talk like the Queen… but if you’re not posh, why do you think you’re better than us?

18) When I do a British accent I sound like David Mitchell… and I think he would consider himself relatively intelligent!

19)They’re sturdier than Styrofoam, they’re cheap, they’re available… and also, sometimes we use the blue ones!

20) We call them “VyTamins” because they contain “vital” elements and nutrients… but if you want to take it back, we can all start calling them “VEETAmins”.

21)…that’s fair… but if we start calling “soccer” “football” we both have to start calling “Pineapples” “Ananas” like the rest of the world!


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