TITS

Boobs, Knockers, Melons, Fun Bags, Sweater Puppies, Chest Cushions, Gazongas! Whatever you call em, Breasts are awesome! And I don’t just like Tig Ole’ Bitties! I like em big, small, perky, “vine-ripened” and everything in between. That being said, like any discerning connoisseur there are certain qualities that appear in the full range of Milk Makers that I have a personal appreciation of! In other words, there’s some stuff I really enjoy about a nice pair of Hooters! And what better place to discuss this than in a blog post on the Internets! I mean, it really is about half full of Titties anyway, right!? And just as a heads up, while I will be referencing a number stars of pornographic movies as examples, this should in no way be understood to be an endorsement! “My Favorite Porn Star(s)” is definitely going to be a separate blog post!

Now, as I said before, size isn’t so much a big deal for me! While the prevailing wisdom seems to be that “bigger is better” I generally prefer “natural” breasts! More often than not, women don’t naturally have DD, or E, or F, or J cup sized breasts. A small C cup or even a nice B cup are actually far more attractive to me than cartoon sized implants! Mind you, I’m not saying I haven’t enjoyed images of Tiffany Towers or Wendy Whoppers from time to time! But far and away I prefer natural breasts. The truth of the matter is that bigger breasts are usually accompanied by bigger everything else! As far as I’m concerned, that is definitely NOT a bad thing. I must admit that while I have this great affinity for boobies, I am definitely an ass man…or more specifically a leg man (enjoying everything between the ankles and the waist). So when I’m looking for big tits, I am more than happy to find Amazonian women like the 5’10” Gianna Michaels (34DD) or a woman with “a little extra cushion for the pushin'” like Brandy Talore (36DD).  But smaller, natural breasts are equally as enjoyable. In fact, I almost lament when a porn star gets implants. I’m kind of a hipster in that, “Oh, her earlier pre-boob job work was totally better!” kind of way. Sophie Dee and Katja Kassin made their names before getting implants… mostly by having big round asses, but still! I liked them with small breasts just the same!

Of course, as with every rule, there is an exception. In my case, that exception is Kagney Linn Karter. I would argue that she has the best fake tits in porn. To that point, I don’t begrudge any woman who chooses to get implants! If you still want them even though the man/men in your life say that you look incredible without them, or because he doesn’t (let’s face it, I can’t be all places all the time), or whatever reasons you might have… go for it! But personally, no matter how good you might look in your clothes, the scars around your nipples or under the boob, don’t really do it for me! Yet another exception, if you’ve had a mastectomy and you want your “womanly figure” back… I don’t suppose you have anything to lose by getting implants! The same goes for other medical issues. I’ve known a handful of women who were quite busty… so much so that it resulted in back pain and what have you. And while I (and most straight guys that knew these women) wept at the thought, breast reductions really were their best bet at a happy life! And that, I think, is the bottom line when discussing any surgery involving breasts. Ladies, the happiness of those around you should be less important than your own! (But only when we’re talking about breast surgeries, now go make me a sammich!)

Another thing I really enjoy about breasts is the nipples! On this subject, I’ve got two words for ya, “Pencil Eraser”! Again, this is all my own personal preferences, but it just doesn’t get better than that! Whether or not they’re pierced doesn’t make a whole lot of difference to me, but if it increases your sensation, that’s cool cuz you know I’m gonna suck on em! Pencil Eraser Nipples, the reason God invented cool springtime breezes and the freezer section at the supermarket! (*DING* “Turkey’s Done!”) Now, in this area you generally have two other options. The first being the puffy nipple which I don’t like so much! At least in my mind I’ve associated it with that whole “barely legal” teen fetish thing which I’m not a huge fan of. Mostly because I’m not thrilled about the possibility of having to utter the words, “I swear she told me she was 18, officer!” But also because I really do enjoy that “pencil eraser”… perhaps a bit too much. The other option is the GIANT areola! I know you accept a certain variation in size, generally corresponding to the size of the breast, but if it’s too big to fit in my mouth, chances are it’s too big for me to find attractive!

Squeezable, Squishable, Huggable, Kissable,  Marvelously Malleable, Mashable, Motorboat-able Mammaries! I do love em! Do you? Tell me about it in the comments! and while I’m cool with a certain degree of ”  graphic”  , let’s try to be respectful, yeah!?

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